Divorce Recovery & 5 Steps to Your Next Long-Term Relationship: Step 3-A Pre-Committed Relationship

For a relationship to culminate in a successful long-term, committed union, a five-step relationship-building process must be acknowledged, understood, and traversed.The Five Required Steps to a Long-Term Relationship The path from initial introduction to a long-term committed relationship goes through five separate stages of relationship: (1) Step 1: The Transition Relationship, (2) Step 2: The Recreational Relationship, (3) Step 3: The Pre-Committed Relationship, (4) Step 4: The Committed Relationship, and (5) Step 5: The Marital Relationship. (For a discussion of recreational, pre-committed, and committed relationships, see David Steele, Conscious Dating, (Campbell, CA, RCN Press, 2008). For the classic description of a pre-committed relationship, see David Steele, Conscious Dating, (Campbell, CA, RCN Press, 2008, 301-319).This article addresses the third step in the relationship-building process, Step 3: The Pre-Committed RelationshipThe Pre-Committed Relationship Is the Time for Logical AnalysisWhile the recreational relationship spotlights the contribution of your heart and intuition, the pre-committed relationship highlights the role logic plays in building a relationship.A pre-committed relationship focuses on systematically determining if your basic requirements for a long-term relationship will be met.Goal and motivation. The goal of a pre-committed relationship is to decide if someone is a “good fit.” The source of motivation that drives a pre-committed relationship is the question, “Will a life with this person give me what I require in a long-term relationship?”The roles you and your partner play. Both you and your partner are expected to be a girlfriend/boyfriend who is willing and able to talk openly about what you each need in a long-term relationship.The nature of a pre-committed relationship. The “feel” in the pre-committed stage is one of focused thoughtfulness and logical analysis. You get crystal clear about what your non-negotiable requirements are for a long-term relationship and determine whether the relationship with your partner can meet all your requirements.Requirements for a Relationship The heart of the pre-committed step is knowing and communicating your requirements to your partner.A requirement is something that must be provided by your partner if the relationship is to work. Steele uses the analogy for a requirement of air, water, and food as requirements for maintaining life in the human body. The absence of even one of the three would result in death. Likewise, the absence of even one thing you consider a requirement for a relationship will sooner or later kill the relationship. (David Steele, Conscious Dating, (Campbell, CA, RCN Press, 2008, p 90)).Potential Problems with a Pre-Committed RelationshipThe two most common ways we fail at the pre-committed step are (1) we either do not know what our requirements are or do not realize how important it is to respect their necessity, and (2) we simply skip this step altogether and go straight to the committed relationship step, as if we can intuit each other’s needs. We can’t.Failure to identify and test out your non-negotiable requirements. After I got divorced the first time, a friend wanted to “fix me up.” She asked me what I wanted in a potential partner. I told her I needed (1) someone who had been divorced before – so she could empathize with what I had been through, and (2) someone who had kids – so she would not be threatened by my parental love. That list of two requirements turned out to be a good place to start, but it left off another 5 or 6 that I was unaware of at the time and which ultimately caused my second marriage to fail.Skip it altogether. During the recreational relationship everything feels right. It feels like you are in a committed relationship. It also feels like you are so in-tuned with each other that a discussion of your requirements is not needed and, in fact, raising the issue would be downright insulting to your partner. So you never even broach the topic. You just ride the euphoria telling yourself you have found the perfect partner, your soul mate, and skipping the pre-committed step poses no problem.This is a dangerous roll of the dice. Occasionally it works out. Most of the time it doesn’t. To never discuss requirements or to jump from a recreational relationship straight to a committed relationship, seriously threatens the success of your relationship.So, What’s the Point?Make damned sure you make the time to identify your requirements – all of them. Then be doggedly insistent about both of you sharing them with each other.Then, and this is the hard part, spend an extended period of time together (often 12 to 18 months) to make sure that you and your partner’s requirements can actually be met in a relationship with each other.This is where most marriages that fail can trace the cause back to. Take the pre-committed step seriously. Your relationship future depends on it.

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Direct Mail Pizza Menus For Football Games and Other Sports Events

Whether you own a small pizza business or have several locations in your area, you have something that even the big chains can’t compete with. You know your market and have the ability to focus on local sporting events when running advertising campaigns. Direct mailing pizza menus for football games and other sports events in your area generate will massive sales and also keep you in the spotlight as the “go-to-spot” for the big game!Timing is EverythingBefore you even think about how you are going to advertise, and what specials or promos you are going to run on your direct mail pizza menus, the first thing to do is get your hands on a calendar of events in your market area. Just prior to the beginning of each season any given sport at your local schools and universities, specific games with locations will be posted (i.e. home or away). Once you know when and where those games will be held, it is time to sit down to plan direct mail pizza menus to generate sales during those events. The same idea applies to national sports events such as NFL, NBA, or big soccer games. Timing is everything and your menu mailers will need to go out just prior to major sporting events to get the full benefit.Support Your Home Team – Game Night SpecialsOne effective use of direct mail pizza menus is to include specials and coupon that are only redeemable on game nights. Some pizza restaurants offer special promotions that can be redeemed if the home team wins, while other pizza shops offer discounts when ticket stubs to the games are provided after the event on game night. Many owners support local teams and a portion of the profit on game nights goes to supporting home teams. Use your direct mail pizza menus to advertise that! Parents and students alike are proud of their home teams, and statistics have proven that they are more likely to patronize businesses that support the home team.Bulk Discounts for Home GamesAnother way to generate massive sales with direct mail pizza menus is to advertise special deals when ordering bulk on game nights. Many parents who run concession stands at home games order two or more dozen pizzas to be sold by the slice to raise money for the team. Those pizzas generally come from the big chains because they offer a discount when ordering in bulk. Maybe you can’t provide quite the same discount that those large corporations can offer, but you can provide much better pizza (which will sell more!) and you can support the home team at the same time. Other successful marketing techniques would include special pricing for after-game or tail-gating parties when ordering a certain quantity pre-established on your menu.The key to success is to plan direct mail pizza menus with promotions, coupons, and specials just prior to major sporting events in your market area. The ‘big guys’ can’t do that because there are just too many schools and universities to keep up with around the country and they have to get corporate approval for almost all advertisements. By taking advantage of your market knowledge, you can own your local area with very little effort. And, you don’t even need to try to remember to get your mailings out on time! Professional printers can have those mailings scheduled for you and often that pizza menu or flyer can be mailed for less than the price of a postage stamp. Use football and other sports events to keep your name in the spotlight, plus it’s fun!

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